Sunday, 22 March 2009

Back up North!

Wel, it's been a busy few days, and I just want to keep you all in the loop, so here we go!
I've been back in Hull for one day, and my life has changed forever - same place, different perspective, different Chaz. The last two days have been lived to the full, and I have loved every second.

But lets backpedal a little. Two days ago. I was staying on Ricey's couch, enjoying the company of my old reigate friends before dashing off to meet my family. My aunt and uncle were very busy, which was a dissapointment, but I at least got to talk to them and share my thoughts, feelings, and changes with them. I have changed a lot since my last real talk to them, and who I once was seems to have come back to haunt me on a number of times. Never so much, though, as those few days in Redhill, though.
My aunt quoted something I told her a long time ago, something I had long forgotten: "Friends are more important than family, because you can choose your friends." I had treated my aunt as a friend, but shied away from my uncle as family - at that time in my life I had become so used to family betraying me in one way or another that I purposefully distanced myself from them. And, looking back, I realise how much that must have hurt them.
They haven't changed much, but my view of them has - they are good people, doing the best they could for me, and I love them for it. My life could have been so much worse, and I didn't see that until too late.
Anyway, I got to talk to them in a pub called the air balloon, as Cameron and Max ran off to their friend's birthday parties, and I learned a lot about them, about my mother, and about my father. My father was in the army - an excuse I thought I had made up, long ago... I wonder how much I half-remember about him? I thought I had fabricated this man, who flew off to California to work on computers, who was once in the army, and who was charmin and friendly, free-spirited and a bit of a drinker. But I don't know how much I could have remembered or made up.
Anyway, my uncle has some news on my mom - and I may be able to get into contact with her soon. I hope so, I really do.

In other news, I called up Ellie and told her about everything that happened - even told her that my aunt told me that I should stay with her, because "I obviously love the girl - I justwouldn't shut up about her"... and Ricey said the same. I made a choice. We were going to get handfasted.
Handfasting is an old pagan ritual in which a man and a woman bind themselves to each other for a set amount of time - in our case, a year and a day. Effectively, we are getting engaged. I want to marry Ellie because my time away from her made me realise how important she is to me.
And I love her.
So, I managed to fly on golden, improbable wings all the way to Hull from Redhill in one day - I caught a train to London, a coach to nottingham, and a train from there to lincoln. Obviously nothing was running from there so late at night, but I was determined to get home. I called up 35 taxis and they said a taxi would be there in about half an hour. I waited. And waited, and gave up. I got another taxi number from a local, caught the cab and got home in an hour - the fare was high, but it was worth it. I was home that night, and I got to see Ellie. I proposed to her officially, and she stayed with me that night.

The morning after - this morning, in fact, was one that filled me with dread. I was to meet her mother and formally ask her for her daughter's hand in marriage. She was stunned, and then so happy she began to cry a little. I was so scared that she would actually refuse, or state a horrible, sobering truth. But she is happy, and she spent the morning calling relatives.
I, infact, did the same. I managed to get through to Aunty Charmaine, with a broken line, but I could at least still hear her - and I tried to call my grandmother, but to no avail. Whereever you are, granny Yvonne, happy mother's day.

Ellie and I didn't make the trip to Whitby, as we had planned, but rather we will be going down to visit her grandfather somewhere in the country and get handfasted there. After a year and a day we will decide if we want to stay together forever, or if we want to part ways. The way I feel now, I know that I could never choose to part ways, but time changes, and we always change with it.

I have had little time to do anything; let alone rest or bathe, and I still smell like a week old hermit - sleeping on couches for the past week - I am off now to get some rest, to have a bath, and to have a good meal.
I am happy, and my life is going to move on from here.
Take care, everyone!

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