Wednesday, 6 May 2009

I am now a HANDMASTER!

Yup, just got handfasted, and am loving every second of it.
The ceremony went off without a hitch, even when the community service warden wandered over and asked us what we were was just perfect. Ellie was stunning, and everyone had a great time. It was perfect. We got to meet most of our friends on and off throughout the day, people coming and go, which I think was a lot better than trying to cope with everyone at once!
Ayva tried to be center of attention in the ceremony, again! But i was great, and I'm hoping to have some photos up real soon.
Other than that, I finally heard from my god-mother on th net...I'm annoyed because me letters aren't getting through and I wanted to keep them updated! Other than that, we are all happy, and having a great time.
I'll be back soon, but until then, you take care of yourselves!

Wednesday, 22 April 2009

Ties that bind

Well, the time is getting closer, and I have to admit I'm getting pretty nervous.
Ellie and I are set to get handfasted on the first of May, in front of her friends and family; and from then on we are bound. I've had to explain it to a few friends, but ceremony is simply this:

A swearing of love and fatihfulness to each other. Nothing less than a marriage.
In every way but legally we are getting married.
In a year's time, we are going to take our bearings and if we are still together and willing to be together, we will hold a proper christian ceremony to satisfy the law, her family and mine. But that isn't what's important - the fact is we are swearing to each other, and declaring our love and partnership to the world - Marriage in all but legal documentation.

It's strange and rather horrible to find just how hard it is to actually get married; even getting married in the registry office (a bleak, horrible little place where the plants are plastic and the chairs are bolted down so no one steals them!) costs hundreds of pounds. It's silly and it's stupid, but getting married and being in love apparently costs money.

In a world where love costs money are we all anything more than whores?

In other news, the votes are being cast in South Africa today - I know how it will go, the ANC will come out on top, but the question remains; will they actually do what they promised? Obama, oddly enough, seems to be making some of the waves that he promised - even the CIA are getting pissed at him; claiming that without torturing suspects (note the word: SUSPECTS) they cannot protect their country. They have cited, and get this: JACK BAUER as a case in point. The FICTIONAL hero from 24 is their example and excuse for slamming suspect's heads against walls and for using such extreme tortures as waterboarding and worse.
...But hell, it wouldn't be politics if it wasn't dirty, right?

Anyway, on my way again, see you all soon!

Wednesday, 15 April 2009

Well, on my way...

Finally got over the horro that was the LONG WEEKEND!
A fun time for others, but a nightmare for those who have to serve drnks to the holiday-makers. Had my one day off a week and I'm enjoying it; I got out to town, lazed around a bit and bought a few books; one of which was 50 places to go BEFORE YOU DIE (THE CLOCK OF TIME IS TICKING AWAY, HURRY HURRY HURRY!)
I've been to two of the places so far, so I'm not doing too badly...!
Other than that I am working on some art...again! THis time in a game; I hope to post the first efforts of my experriment soon. I should have the internet soon as well....after a 48 hour background check, DNA, stool and blood sample and an hour's long interrogation (only two of those five are exaggerations, folks!!) for our lovely Kingston Communications, the ONLY broadband provider I am allowed to have.
But MONOPOLY is such a nasty word, isn't it?
Well, I hope to be connected soon, i will just take a little time...and effort.

In other news, my cousin Jack (from Ellie's side) is visitin the Ellie-mum, so I have become his new best friend. He's seven so we've been blowing up buildings, bombing innocent civilians, and making Death Soup out of our enemies...all his idea, not mine! He is jsut so happy to have another boy in the family that he as grown attatched to for me, it's nice to finally have someone of my mental level to talk to! :D

No other news...apart from work still sucking; I can actually feel myself getting dumber the more I work there...the monotony of the days is sapping any purpose I have left in me - I must work to live and live to work.

-Oh yeah! New news! Ellie will be crashing at mine for a while as she tries to find her feet. I know, I know, on of the conditions of us going out was not living together, but I feel that I am confident enough in this relationship that if she does so tugging on my strings a little too much I'll be able to sweetly tell her to bugger off. I hope this isn't a big mistake; but there is only one way to find out!

Keep you all posted!

Monday, 13 April 2009

Time is a resource and an Enemy!

My time is short, so I must keep this brief.
I'm sorry for being so succinct in my posts recently; the days and weeks seem to trickle and then fly by. I have had Ellie with me at most times, and we are ahppy, but it does mean that I have very little time for anything else - my life is made up of the odd moments that I can scrape together, between work, paying bills, and seeing my fiancee.

In major news, work sucks.
In less major news, I have found my mother and gotten into contact with her; she even has her own blog, so I can keep in touch with her through that. I hope things go well with her, but it is a lot of lost time between us, and many years to make up for.

Other news: Ellie and I are holding another handfasting ceremony; a much more public one, in Hull on the first of May. Mayday. It will be in the nice little graveyard just off of springbank west, and I hope that anyone who reads this would like to come.
I have had a lot to think about recently, but little time to think in. I miss my friends, and I miss my spare time. I hope to see you all and hear from you all again soon!


Wednesday, 1 April 2009

A wek has gone bye!!

Yes, I know, I know, no updates in a week!
So sorry guys, but I will have a story and a half to tell you all just as soon as I get a moment - hopfully later tonight! Life has been oh so busy, but oh so worth it, and I can't wait to update you all!
See you all soon!

(PS, the missus is watching me type, so I must keep this brief!)

Tuesday, 24 March 2009

Another Perfect Day

Another day, another choice, and my perceptions of things have swung around again.

I have, it seems, become a better person because of the things I have done. Or so I've been told, anyway. My life seems to be completely changed by the choices I have made, especially the ones I have made recently, but some things will irrevocably remain the same. Ellie, it seems, will always be Ellie, both good and bad, and I will always have the same old hang ups that I have always done.

But lets see, enough cryptic comments and on with the updates.
Yesterday was a good time; I got to see Ayva for a little while before Ellie went to work, and I even got to walk her all the way into town. After spending copious amounts of money on our romantic night in (broke once more, gah!) I wandered back home and got on with some animation - car animation to be precise. Yay, boring facts and figures once again!
But I'm glad I have the time to finish off these projects!

Got to meet up with Gathan yesterday as well, had a few drinks and talked crap for two hours; about politics, politicians, and the world order. He also seemed shocked by my choice to get engaged to Ellie, and laughed about it for quite a while. He hasn't changed, and I wonder how he'd feel if Kim wanted to get married. After meeting him I finally managed to hunt down some stuffed peppers for Ellie, then picked her up from work. We passed Jess on the way home, but she seemed quiet and withdrawn and did everything short of running in the other direction - to be honest, I didn't even notice her until Ellie pointed her out to me.
Hooray for sordid pasts and background history. I'm not sure what would make her uncomfortable around me, but there are more than a few rumors floating around that might have made her feel uncomfortable.

I had begun to take such horrible histories in my stride, accepting them as a by-product of being social and having friends. It is only recently that I have learned that such "Coronation Street" dramas only take place amongst certain people, back stabbers and rumor-spreaders. Hanging out with my old friends in Redhill, and even a choice few in Hull made me remember that not everyone is like that - that friendship does not have to come with such a high price.

But such things are in the past, and so we move on.

Ellie and I got home, but she was too exhausted and cold to enjoy herself. The movies I bought for her (Breakfast at Tiffany's and Pride and Prejudice GAH!) remain untouched and unwatched. The wine I bought, too, remains untouched, and the stuffed peppers were eaten, for the most part, by yours truly. I never seem to get dates with Ellie right - either the movie is terrible, or she feels ill, or I feel surly, or the weather works against us...but it has been a very long time since we have had a date that I can remember being good.
Just another thing to work on, I suppose.
I slept uneasily last night, with strange, violent, vivid dreams of ghosts, of children covered with pins, nails, and thumbtacs, of a bleeding hole in a wall, and of hell arriving on a wave of sand and blood. Horrible stuff that I haven't dreamt of in ages. Perhaps it was just getting put face to face with old worries once more; relationship worries, friendship worries, money worries and so on.
I guess my mind has to work these things out somehow.

Anyway, other than that, today has been a good day. I am off to have the first hot bath I have had in ages, and then I'm going to watch the Matrix, draw, finish some animation, eat pizza, and go to bed! Exciting stuff, I know, but today is my time out day! :P

On a side note, Kerry and I (kerry being the girl who lives across the hall from me in my new house) have started getting along pretty well. I lent her my Watchmen book, and I hope we'll be conversing more freely as time goes on.

Well, you all stay excellent to each other and have a great one!

Sunday, 22 March 2009

Back up North!

Wel, it's been a busy few days, and I just want to keep you all in the loop, so here we go!
I've been back in Hull for one day, and my life has changed forever - same place, different perspective, different Chaz. The last two days have been lived to the full, and I have loved every second.

But lets backpedal a little. Two days ago. I was staying on Ricey's couch, enjoying the company of my old reigate friends before dashing off to meet my family. My aunt and uncle were very busy, which was a dissapointment, but I at least got to talk to them and share my thoughts, feelings, and changes with them. I have changed a lot since my last real talk to them, and who I once was seems to have come back to haunt me on a number of times. Never so much, though, as those few days in Redhill, though.
My aunt quoted something I told her a long time ago, something I had long forgotten: "Friends are more important than family, because you can choose your friends." I had treated my aunt as a friend, but shied away from my uncle as family - at that time in my life I had become so used to family betraying me in one way or another that I purposefully distanced myself from them. And, looking back, I realise how much that must have hurt them.
They haven't changed much, but my view of them has - they are good people, doing the best they could for me, and I love them for it. My life could have been so much worse, and I didn't see that until too late.
Anyway, I got to talk to them in a pub called the air balloon, as Cameron and Max ran off to their friend's birthday parties, and I learned a lot about them, about my mother, and about my father. My father was in the army - an excuse I thought I had made up, long ago... I wonder how much I half-remember about him? I thought I had fabricated this man, who flew off to California to work on computers, who was once in the army, and who was charmin and friendly, free-spirited and a bit of a drinker. But I don't know how much I could have remembered or made up.
Anyway, my uncle has some news on my mom - and I may be able to get into contact with her soon. I hope so, I really do.

In other news, I called up Ellie and told her about everything that happened - even told her that my aunt told me that I should stay with her, because "I obviously love the girl - I justwouldn't shut up about her"... and Ricey said the same. I made a choice. We were going to get handfasted.
Handfasting is an old pagan ritual in which a man and a woman bind themselves to each other for a set amount of time - in our case, a year and a day. Effectively, we are getting engaged. I want to marry Ellie because my time away from her made me realise how important she is to me.
And I love her.
So, I managed to fly on golden, improbable wings all the way to Hull from Redhill in one day - I caught a train to London, a coach to nottingham, and a train from there to lincoln. Obviously nothing was running from there so late at night, but I was determined to get home. I called up 35 taxis and they said a taxi would be there in about half an hour. I waited. And waited, and gave up. I got another taxi number from a local, caught the cab and got home in an hour - the fare was high, but it was worth it. I was home that night, and I got to see Ellie. I proposed to her officially, and she stayed with me that night.

The morning after - this morning, in fact, was one that filled me with dread. I was to meet her mother and formally ask her for her daughter's hand in marriage. She was stunned, and then so happy she began to cry a little. I was so scared that she would actually refuse, or state a horrible, sobering truth. But she is happy, and she spent the morning calling relatives.
I, infact, did the same. I managed to get through to Aunty Charmaine, with a broken line, but I could at least still hear her - and I tried to call my grandmother, but to no avail. Whereever you are, granny Yvonne, happy mother's day.

Ellie and I didn't make the trip to Whitby, as we had planned, but rather we will be going down to visit her grandfather somewhere in the country and get handfasted there. After a year and a day we will decide if we want to stay together forever, or if we want to part ways. The way I feel now, I know that I could never choose to part ways, but time changes, and we always change with it.

I have had little time to do anything; let alone rest or bathe, and I still smell like a week old hermit - sleeping on couches for the past week - I am off now to get some rest, to have a bath, and to have a good meal.
I am happy, and my life is going to move on from here.
Take care, everyone!