Another day, another choice, and my perceptions of things have swung around again.
I have, it seems, become a better person because of the things I have done. Or so I've been told, anyway. My life seems to be completely changed by the choices I have made, especially the ones I have made recently, but some things will irrevocably remain the same. Ellie, it seems, will always be Ellie, both good and bad, and I will always have the same old hang ups that I have always done.
But lets see, enough cryptic comments and on with the updates.
Yesterday was a good time; I got to see Ayva for a little while before Ellie went to work, and I even got to walk her all the way into town. After spending copious amounts of money on our romantic night in (broke once more, gah!) I wandered back home and got on with some animation - car animation to be precise. Yay, boring facts and figures once again!
But I'm glad I have the time to finish off these projects!
Got to meet up with Gathan yesterday as well, had a few drinks and talked crap for two hours; about politics, politicians, and the world order. He also seemed shocked by my choice to get engaged to Ellie, and laughed about it for quite a while. He hasn't changed, and I wonder how he'd feel if Kim wanted to get married. After meeting him I finally managed to hunt down some stuffed peppers for Ellie, then picked her up from work. We passed Jess on the way home, but she seemed quiet and withdrawn and did everything short of running in the other direction - to be honest, I didn't even notice her until Ellie pointed her out to me.
Hooray for sordid pasts and background history. I'm not sure what would make her uncomfortable around me, but there are more than a few rumors floating around that might have made her feel uncomfortable.
I had begun to take such horrible histories in my stride, accepting them as a by-product of being social and having friends. It is only recently that I have learned that such "Coronation Street" dramas only take place amongst certain people, back stabbers and rumor-spreaders. Hanging out with my old friends in Redhill, and even a choice few in Hull made me remember that not everyone is like that - that friendship does not have to come with such a high price.
But such things are in the past, and so we move on.
Ellie and I got home, but she was too exhausted and cold to enjoy herself. The movies I bought for her (Breakfast at Tiffany's and Pride and Prejudice GAH!) remain untouched and unwatched. The wine I bought, too, remains untouched, and the stuffed peppers were eaten, for the most part, by yours truly. I never seem to get dates with Ellie right - either the movie is terrible, or she feels ill, or I feel surly, or the weather works against us...but it has been a very long time since we have had a date that I can remember being good.
Just another thing to work on, I suppose.
I slept uneasily last night, with strange, violent, vivid dreams of ghosts, of children covered with pins, nails, and thumbtacs, of a bleeding hole in a wall, and of hell arriving on a wave of sand and blood. Horrible stuff that I haven't dreamt of in ages. Perhaps it was just getting put face to face with old worries once more; relationship worries, friendship worries, money worries and so on.
I guess my mind has to work these things out somehow.
Anyway, other than that, today has been a good day. I am off to have the first hot bath I have had in ages, and then I'm going to watch the Matrix, draw, finish some animation, eat pizza, and go to bed! Exciting stuff, I know, but today is my time out day! :P
On a side note, Kerry and I (kerry being the girl who lives across the hall from me in my new house) have started getting along pretty well. I lent her my Watchmen book, and I hope we'll be conversing more freely as time goes on.
Well, you all stay excellent to each other and have a great one!